Gratitude List

 Introduction

Lately, I can feel myself evolving. I can feel rootlets plunging further into the depths of unfamiliar parts of my brain, causing the stale dirt to overturn and lovingly commingle with the essential oil of both new and returning knowledge. I can feel cogs turning in my head, desperately yearning for a taste of the oil as the powdered old unused ideas grind dryly against their cell-mates. The essence of knowledge slowly succumbs to the desire that is building in the mechanism of my brain, and finally that mechanism is able to work to produce nutrients, so that the tiny rootlets might grow into the beautiful flowers and hearty vegetables that are the concepts and ideas which form the foundation of deep thought and thorough understanding.

As this happens, I am trying to utilize the mindfulness techniques that have thrown themselves in my path so often in these past four months.  I want to gain firm footing as I attempt to start putting one foot in front of the other on the hike to graduate school, and even further to a greater understanding of the universe, my place in it, and what is really important in my life.

What I've noticed as I put these techniques into practice is that I often take things for granted, as human beings are wont to do. It's just human nature. However, that doesn't mean that we can't catch ourselves in the act and take a moment out of our day to smell the flowers that are sprouting from the soil within our heads.

The List Itself

Many of you probably already know or can deduce what a gratitude list is, so I decided to put the list first, followed by the background and my particular guidelines. They are in no particular order and that is because I don't think that things deserving our gratitude and loved should be ranked. That's just my personal preference.

• I am grateful for my parents and family for not only cutting me an enormous amount of slack, but also for really making an effort to understand my disorder and trying to include me and make me feel loved even when I push them away. I'm also grateful that my parents listen when I say that I want to be alone and that they're beginning to trust me when I say that I'm fine.
• I am grateful for the support of my professor, who is giving me a second chance and helping me so much throughout the process of applying to graduate school. She had every right to say that she didn't feel comfortable giving me a good review, but instead she's choosing to help me even as she's especially very busy in her career at the moment. 
• I'm grateful for my brain. Even though it's gotten me into some trouble, it's lightening fast and extremely good at recognizing unlikely similarities. It's "all-in" or "all-out" function is something I cherish and I am so happy to be passionate enough about one thing to do it all day and all night.
• I'm grateful for my cats, who have been through the ringer with me and have never failed to comfort me no matter what the situation. I'm grateful to wake up cuddling Ollie almost every morning, I'm grateful that Lola makes me work for her affection, I love that they are just so unquestionably loyal and unbearably cute. 

Although the gratitude list is normally five items, I want to stop there for now and just soak it in because that's enough love and thankfulness to make me explode. 

A Bit of Background on the Gratitude List

If you've ever had friends or family that have needed help, you'll probably be familiar with the concept. If not: in some treatment programs they ask you to list five things that you're grateful for today. In one rehab, we did this every day in our first group, so we'd have to consider what happened yesterday that wasn't half bad or that brightened our day. In another rehab, we did it every Friday.

As you can imagine, that gets quite repetitive in a group-setting, especially when the group pretty much remains the same week to week. It's also inevitable that answers are repeated often and not expounded upon, which in my opinion always seemed to water down the entire purpose of the exercise.

So, while there are no real rules for the Gratitude List, I do think there are some general guidelines that ought to govern such things, and that will do so on my blog at least. Mainly:

1. I think that these things should be somewhere in between vague and specific. 
2. I think things that are similar in nature should be considered as one list item. 
3. I also think these things should be of some significant weight, and although the definition of significant differs, the definition of "fluff" is pretty standard, so none of that. 

So, that's that. I strongly encourage everyone to research mindfulness exercises and to make gratitude lists of their own, it really helps to recognize what's really going on around you and put things in perspective.